how to pick your wedding party

How to Pick Your Wedding Party

You solved the whole soul mate thing, so now it’s time to select the people that are going to help you get hitched to your true love. The hard and fast rules that once encompassed wedding party etiquette have largely gone out the proverbial window.

Your brother can be your maid of honor. You can have an uneven number of bridesmaids and groomsmen. If you so desire, you can even have your dog be your ring bearer. Because when it comes to your big day, it’s about having those you love most stand beside you as you say, “I do.”

If that means Fido is part of your wedding party, so be it. That said, if you’d like a little guidance on how to pick friends and family for your nuptials, here are a few helpful tips for picking your wedding party.

Maid of Honor

As the title indicates, the maid of honor is a position reserved only for an unwed sister or best friend. Of course, you could tweak the designation to matron of honor if you want someone by your side that already has a ring on her finger.

In either case, the person you call upon for this honor should be the person to whom you feel closest of all your sisters, cousins, and girlfriends. Protocol once dictated that the sister closest in age to the bride had the right to being called maid of honor, but not everyone has sisters.

If they do, they might also have cousins or friends to whom they feel a more intimate bond.

Best Man

Like the maid of honor, the best man is typically the person to whom the groom shares a dear friendship, though being men, they may never call it that! Regardless, the person who assumes the best man role is often a brother, best college buddy, or sometimes even a father.

While the women in the wedding party frequently attend to the majority of the nuptial planning duties, the best man has the task of throwing the bachelor party, keeping track of the wedding rings, and making sure that the rest of the groomsmen make it to the ceremony on time and in tuxedos.


brides maids

You can’t have a wedding without your best girlfriends, right? And that’s exactly why you need bridesmaids. After selecting the woman who will preside over the female half of the wedding party, you can ask your other favorite gals to be part of your special day.

Sisters, future sisters-in-law, friends – no matter if they’ve been a part of your life since preschool or graduate school, if you have loved ones with whom you have cherished relationships, now is the time to ask them to be your bridesmaids.


A lot of men feel pressure to match with groomsmen the number of bridesmaids their fiancées have asked to be part of the wedding. If you or your man can easily pair up groomsmen and bridesmaids, great. If it looks like the bridesmaids might outnumber the groomsmen, it doesn’t have to be a problem.

A wedding party is meant to comprise only those that you truly want included in your wedding ceremony and reception activities. Never ask someone to be part of the festivities just for the sake of having an even number of bridesmaids and groomsmen. Not only is it disingenuous, but also it can be expensive!

A small wedding party – even a lopsided one – usually means less expense for the bride and groom.

Flower Girl

flower girl

Photo Credit: Mark Sebastian

While not a required person for your wedding party, a flower girl might be the cutest one in it. If you have a special relationship with a little girl between the ages of three and seven – think your best friend’s daughter or a niece – she’s the one to ask to be your flower girl.

Ring Bearer

Excepting your dog, the ring bearer duty typically goes to a young boy whom you know and love. Age-wise, you probably want to ask someone old enough to confidently walk down the aisle without getting distracted or scared by the hundreds of people looking back at him. A nephew or friend’s son can suit up for this job.

When it comes to tying the knot, Oü is your one-stop shop for all your wedding stationery needs. From engagement announcements to wedding address labels to post-matrimonial brunch invitations, we have everything you need to keep your loved ones up to date, in the loop, and tickled pink about your impending nuptials.

Featured Image:Alicia Hotovec Ellis


Anna Keizer

Anna Keizer

writes for, an online platform specializing in stationery cards. When she is not writing for Oubly, Anna enjoys writing screenplays and creative non-fiction. You can also read up on her daily adventures through her blog The Chicago DispLAcement

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